Marriage Is Not For The Weak.

For a long time, I was afraid of getting married. I was nervous because I felt that I was not good enough of a man to be some woman’s husband. Not to sell myself short, but I felt that I was not ready for that chapter in my life. Then I met a woman who changed my mind. That woman is now my wife. Going on fifteen years of being together and married for seven. A day before our wedding, I had a conversation with my grandmother, and I said that I will be happy when the wedding is over. Excited to bring the circus of wedding planning to an end. My grandmother’s swift response to me was, “Over? The wedding will never be over. Everyday is the wedding. It never stops.”

There are very few times where my grandmother is wrong about some things, but for the other 98% of the time, she is right. Same thing in this situation. Our wedding was awesome. I had the time of my life. Four months later, my wife’s father passed away, and we were beyond devastated. It only took a few days into our grief that our marriage started to become tested. A few months later, my wife’s health took a nasty turn for the worst, we had some family members pass on or develop serious health complications, and my wife also miscarried our twins.

We were not doing well. While going through all the madness,we were not considerate of one another’s feelings and we were both understanding that this union might not work. Through faith and some friends and family who seen what was going on beneath the surface and pulled us both to the side to share advice, and we worked it out. Every day I am grateful for my spouse whom I adore deeply. We spent the day out visiting her family for her grandmother’s birthday. On our way there, I thought about a sermon that I heard from Bishop T.D. Jakes about marriage and how the difficulties could shape your union for the better. The wedding is not just a big celebration for the day, but its also a celebration for the trying times to come.

Real marriage is when you are in the hospital waiting room worried if the surgery is going okay. Real marriage is when you lose your job and your spouse is barely making enough to cover rent, Real marriage is when you have to console your spouse when the doctor comes back and says that your father has passed away. Real marriage is when the doctor says that you lost your babies and you have to be strong when your spirit is crushed. And real marriage is when your spouse thinks the worst about their health and you try to keep them encouraged when you’re not confident about your own health. Among other issues.

In conclusion, marriage is not easy and it’s far from being a fairytale. However, it is what you make it. Being considerate of your husband or wife’s feelings at all times is not realistic. You will have your issues and the strength of your union will be tested beyond measure. There will be days when you want to throw in the towel and walk away. There will also be days where you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world other than with your spouse.

The good will always outweigh the bad. You just have to make sure that you both push through together. Marriage is for everyone, but not everyone is for marriage. It comes down to what kind of person that you are and what kind of person you want to become. Remember, there is nobody else to please other than your better half, and trying to be the perfect couple is a set up for disaster. Just be fair, be kind and be your absolute best self so you can be the best for each other.